It broken — time to fix it

USA trounced in Ryder Cup again;
changes must be made before '08

WINDERMERE — Another Ryder Cup is history, and another loss has been chalked up for the United States.

That’s three victories in a row for Europe, and five of the last six.

Clearly, something is broken, so here are five quick solutions to improve the Americans’ chances at Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville, Ky., Sept. 19-21, 2008:

• Lose the baggage I: Not sure when the tradition of making significant others a part of the team started, but it has to stop immediately.

Wives are great — every man should have one — but their sole role at the Ryder Cup is to be the strong woman behind the man.

Have you ever seen wives and girlfriends jumping on the pile after a team wins the World Series? No. Do significant others wear matching “uniforms” at an NFL game? No. Do NBA organizations allow wives and girlfriends to travel on the team plane? Rarely, if ever. Do significant others march into an Olympic stadium during the opening ceremonies? Never.

There were reports last week that the wives were in the USA’s team room when captain Tom Lehman was addressing the troops. Has Bill Belichick ever invited the girls into the Super Bowl locker room? Yeah, right . . .

Fast-forward to Valhalla: “Here are your tickets for the week, Mrs. Woods; thank you for coming. Have fun, but please remain outside the ropes.”

(And to show I’m not sexist, there shall be no uniformed PGA of America officials walking the fairways, either.)

• Lose the baggage II: Last week, the Americans’ plane was three hours late in arriving — because they couldn’t get all the luggage on board! Do we really need different outfits for every session? Do we need those hideous plaid and tweed traveling get-ups? What about formal attire for the gala and suits for the opening festivities? Scrap them all.

The rule for 2008? One man, one suitcase.

• Motivate Mickelson: If Phil Mickelson wants to “shut it down” after the PGA Championship every year, then he should give up his spot on the team and go to the beach. In the last two Ryder Cups he’s 1-7-1; in the last two Presidents Cups he’s 3-5-2 — that’s an abysmal 4-12-3 record, totally unacceptable for someone annually ranked in the top three in the world. In 2008, Mickelson needs to play his way into shape prior to the event — assuming he isn’t fully retired by that point.

• Put on game faces: On the day the captain fills out his team in 2008, all members must stop shaving. Nothing brings a hockey team together for the Stanley Cup playoffs like a bunch of unkempt, scraggly guys in the locker room. The “playoff beard” works to bind a squad. It’s about attitude.

• Wild-card picks, not captain’s selections: WhoMever gets the job as U.S. Ryder Cup captain for 2008 must review the process by which he makes his two selections. It’s time to start finding the right players, not the best players. Forget the rankings and the rules, and pick somebody who’ll scare the Europeans — like John Daly, who has never played in a Ryder Cup. Then the captain must commit to his choices and play them. Scott Verplank was undefeated and untied this year, but sat out three sessions.